For Gary Indiana (1950–2024)

Gary Indiana successful HIS NEW YORK APARTMENT, FEBRUARY 2002. Photograph by SYLVIA PLACHY.

“Live Free oregon Die” is simply a mendacious dilemma arsenic good arsenic the authorities motto of New Hampshire, wherever Gary Indiana was calved and raised. The aphorism originated with the American Revolution and was revived successful the sixties to boost up the boys sent to termination and dice successful Vietnam. New Hampshire began stamping it onto licence plates successful 1970, erstwhile Gary was twenty. By past helium was surviving successful California (state motto: “Eureka!”), having fled westbound astatine sixteen. What has proven existent successful the ensuing decades is that Gary lived freely and died anyway.

Gary’s lifelong quarrel was with the unexamined, dangerous, and ridiculous banner definitions of his time, fallacious authorities mottos and all. The grudge survives successful his enactment arsenic 1 agelong statement successful favour of thing near to lose. He often homed successful connected decease oregon menace of it, penning characters, sometimes, who would conscionable arsenic soon instrumentality beingness arsenic spit connected it. And if dignity isn’t adjacent connected the array for most, what quality does decease make? To him it was a idiosyncratic question. Also edifying. “One inactive hopes immoderate wide held conception of the communal bully volition compel quality beings to worth empathy implicit the casual options of self-interest and violence,” helium wrote astatine the 2014 Whitney Biennial successful a tract titled A Significant Loss of Human Life. “If the beingness of persistent, principled, rationalist absorption to barbarism ceases to beryllium the lawsuit successful the clip up of us, the satellite volition beryllium to immoderate tyrant who claims it,” successful Schwarzenegger Syndrome: Politics and Celebrity successful the Age of Contempt, 2005. From his memoir, 2015: “I wanted to shriek from symptom but didn’t. I looked astatine the babe and saw a aboriginal of scrapes and bruises. Life is abbreviated and afloat of symptom and ever beautiful, besides.” 

Gary resisted, celebrated, skewered, and suffered enormously. Living was his mode of preparing for death, adjacent erstwhile the crab constricted his abilities to move, snarl, laugh, and origin uproar. I person felt sadder than accustomed these past respective weeks. I person besides felt challenged and inspired by the righteous superiority of his intellect, his observational power, his appetites, the clarity and absorption of his demanding yet lyrical insight. 

He knew what was happening, adjacent arsenic helium dwindled conscionable truthful earlier going. He was excessively astute to not know. When past we spoke, 3 days earlier helium died, helium rehearsed oregon repeated a fewer comic lines. Funny not due to the fact that I recovered them amusing, comic due to the fact that they passed done the lips of an adept inactive adamantly successful request of pleasure, inactive successful possession of a consciousness of timing contempt clip moving out.

“There are a cardinal of them retired there, but lone 1 of me. I don’t privation anyone getting successful my way,” helium said. Having established his terms, helium was escaped to go. “I’ll beryllium determination successful a portion … A WHILE!” This gave mode to bouts of grim laughter, similar firecrackers hitting bedewed blacktop. Not knowing the nonstop hr erstwhile the reaper mightiness reap was excessively disturbing and truthful excessively bully to fto descent without caustics. That benignant of unpredictability drove him nuts, similar a tardy meal date. He interpreted lateness successful others arsenic deficiency of concern. Delayed oregon missed appointments cranked his assorted insecurities up to an aggravated eleven. Gary was ever connected time, which I saw rather intelligibly to mean that helium cared.

Nevertheless, lone present whitethorn we notation to Gary Indiana arsenic late. “Hope springs eternal,” helium utilized to say. It was a joke, but a ample portion of him meant it.

This eulogy was commissioned by the Poetry Project, and was primitively published successful the Poetry Project Newsletter.

Sam McKinniss is an creator based successful Connecticut and New York. The archetypal large monograph dedicated to his enactment volition beryllium disposable this outpouring from Rizzoli Electa.