JASON MCATEER has bravely opened up connected his conflict with slump – admitting helium contemplated taking his ain life.
The erstwhile Liverpool and Republic of Ireland planetary hung up his boots successful 2007 pursuing a three-year stint with Tranmere Rovers.
BEIN SPORTS
McAteer had a 15-year nonrecreational career, successful which helium made implicit 100 appearances for LiverpoolGETTY
PAAdjusting to beingness aft football, arsenic it is for galore erstwhile players, has proven hard for McAteer – who often works arsenic a pundit.
But the sporadic quality of the enactment near him without a consciousness of “purpose” successful his life, which helium erstwhile contemplated ending portion en-route to prime up his son.
During an quality connected beIN SPORTS’ Tales, Tears and Trophies podcast, an affectional and teary-eyed McAteer recalled: “I conscionable had nary purpose, mate, it was nary structure.
“The TV stuff, I mean I wasn’t moving each time of the week. It would beryllium similar possibly 1 amusement a week oregon possibly 2 shows a week.
“It was precise sporadic. Days and days and days with thing to do, yeah.
“I got to the tunnel, that passageway betwixt the Wirral and Liverpool.
“My child, who I was keeping this narration with nether hard circumstances, lived connected the different broadside of this tunnel.
“And I was driving done the tunnel, and it upsets maine due to the fact that it takes maine backmost to this infinitesimal due to the fact that I tin consciousness it.
If you are affected by immoderate of the issues raised successful this article, delight telephone the Samaritans for escaped on 116123.
BEIN SPORTS“And arsenic you spell retired the daylight into the passageway light, it’s similar this benignant of light. I retrieve reasoning to myself, ‘I’m conscionable going to plaything the car present and conscionable extremity it.’ That’s however casual it is.”
McAteer, 53, fought with each ounce of his being to not fto the acheronian thoughts successful his caput prevail and instrumentality his ain life.
He continued: “I was warring myself not to bash it, warring going, ‘Do it, bash it, bash it, bash it bash it.’ And I’d beryllium like, ‘No. Do it. No’.
“And I’d beryllium warring the steering instrumentality and I retrieve coming towards the extremity of the passageway and it was similar the daylight was opening up.
“And I retrieve coming retired the passageway thinking, ‘Thank God. Just convey God’.
“And I went to get my small boy, due to the fact that I ever utilized to instrumentality him to the pictures. I took him to the pictures and I drove home.”
GETTYMcAteer was flooded by a question of emotion soon afterwards and bravely opened up to his mum connected her doorstep.
He said: “I got to my mum’s, my mum lived 10 minutes astir the corner.
“And I knocked connected a doorway and I retrieve conscionable saying, ‘I can’t bash it anymore. ‘That’s it, that’s it.’ And I was conscionable astatine that point.”
A visibly affectional McAteer past broke down arsenic helium said: “It was tough. Just similar everything had gone – I don’t fractional miss it.
“I miss – I miss everything astir playing. I miss it. Yeah, I conscionable miss it.
“Just similar running, conscionable moving out, conscionable moving out, conscionable escaped connected a footy pitch. No problems.”
If you are affected by immoderate of the issues raised successful this article, delight telephone the Samaritans for escaped on 116123.
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